SO LONG, LONDON

Last month, my cousins came over and I had ten or so lovely days with them. They met Garrett, who was my partner at the time. We told them Garrett wants to be a therapist, and my cousins told me afterward that they thought he'd be a well-fitting therapist, because he has a calming demeanor. I thought so too, even when we were fighting and my senses were heightened, he always made me feel so safe and secure, and I would eventually tell him my thoughts and feelings, and realise that I was going to be okay. Unfortunately, Garrett broke up with me several days ago. He said he wasn't exactly ready for a serious relationship, especially finances-wise. I would just like to state for the record that he was 29 this year, so I tried my best to date an adult man this time. As far as I was concerned, he was financially stable enough for me, and he was also possibly my favorite person I've dated so far. We also got prescribed by our respective physicians, the exact same dose of antidepressant to deal with our depression, within a span of two weeks of each other, so I felt like in some ways, we understood each other very well, without trying very hard. However, I must concede that both of us haven't been in the best mental headspaces this year, so perhaps he was right to break up. I don't know, I've always felt that you heal better with support and the love of a partner, but different strokes for different folks. I like and love him, and was able to really foresee a long-term future with him. He also said perhaps one day, if we're both ready, we might work better with each other. I don't know if he was just saying that to ease the pain of the breakup, but he doesn't seem to be the type to say such things, he's usually quite direct and honest. So. I don't know. I'm exhausted. People my age have gotten married, had kids, gotten divorced, and here I still am. Anyway, this was possibly the most "adult" relationship I've had, in that I think both Garrett and I were rather mature adults during most of the relationship, so I will miss it, and I'll miss him a lot. I want to sleep for three days.