HERE’S TO THE ONES WHO DREAM

Yesterday, everyone at work was sympathetic because they all knew I’d broken up. At first, one of them, Jing, didn’t know, and she thought my swollen eyes were a result of allergy. Yeah, I’m allergic to breakups, for sure. Jing is hilarious, there’s a running joke that she’s the store manager so she said I could pass off all my guests to her and chill for the day, because of my breakup. I have grown to love everyone in my team. They suggested that I go for more spin classes, because you get endorphins from the workout, and it’s held in the dark with lots of flashing lights, so that’s as close as you can get to clubbing in these COVID days. Sarah is holding a Armin van Buuren x Gareth Emery spin class next week, which would have been perfect, but it’s popular and I’ll be waitlisted. It would have been appropriate, Lucas used to tease me about doing white girl tingz, like going for spin classes, and I indulged him, because it’s totally warranted, I think I do some more white people tingz than he does. Except for stocks and bitcoin, he definitely has that white people money more than I do. Now I can go for all the spin classes. This week I’m going climbing with Becs. We’re going bouldering, which is done without harnesses, so please goddamn pray I don’t fall and hurt my spinal disc like my namesake Sarah did. I do not want to miss my flight due to hospitalisation. As I was saying, I’ve become so fond of my team. I love the little dynamics between each little group, I love Jaysen making inappropriate jokes with his double entendres and making me snort in front of strangers, I love it when we’re changing up visual merchandising and one person is figuring out the time signature to a Christmas song remix, I love opening boxes and hearing people say ridiculous silly things because it’s the end of the day, and we’re all delirious from having taught in the day, or gone for three different sweat sessions, or from just a daily battle with keeping depression at bay (or is that just me?). I broke up with Lucas a month before I leave, because I didn’t want to grieve the relationship while I’m by myself in Canada, and my lululemon team have been so, so essential at propping me up, as well as my friends from everywhere else. I only hope Lucas reaches out to his support system as well, it has been written in research that women deal with breakups better than men do, because women are allowed to talk about their sorrows with their siblings and friends and men generally aren’t. Here’s a reminder that gender restrictions are toxic for everyone, and I’m a little relieved that Lucas is a little more sensitive and sensible than many men I know. If you’re sad, let yourself be sad, and tell the people you know about it. Alright, I’m out.