TWILIGHT

I haven't swum for three months because that's how long it's been since swimming pools were closed for COVID-19 and we're no longer allowed to go to the beach, either. The good thing is, I checked on Google and there's an indoor swimming complex a short walk away from my school in Vancouver. The sad thing is, I start school in September and I don't know if I'll get to swim till then. However, at least I have something to look forward to! I find myself to be quite a water baby, I love being in and also surrounded by water so I'm very excited to explore trails that have rivers or waterfalls, etc. 

I finished reading Learned Optimism and I really do like it, I liked the ideas and principles from start to finish. I think it was an important book for myself particularly, and I'll try and apply it to myself and my life. 

My hair is growing back out and I'm trying to grow it long this time. I had it chopped short almost a year ago, and now I miss my curls. There's something about how wild and unkempt my long hair usually is, and how reflective it is of me, that I miss to bits, and I wanna have it back. 

Back in 1905, the German sociologist Max Weber warned of an “unprecedented inner loneliness of the single individual” that accompanied the “spirit” of modern capitalism. In a capitalist society founded on competition, privatisation and small family units, collective joy—as opposed to individual happiness—signals both personal resilience and political rebellion. The very act of relishing in a shared connection is a triumph in a society that seeks to divide us.

Being happy is resistance against capitalism and so I try. I try to be happy. Tonight feels happy so I will allow myself to feel it.